Charlie's Comedians - B - Burns, Brendon Burns

Fuck you, I'm Brendon fucking Burns! I almost feel like I should write this entry in capitals. But no, there is a softer, sweeter side to Brendon. And he's one of the nicest comedians I've ever actually met.

But to begin at the beginning - I first saw Brendon Burns in 2007 - not as part of a show, really. I was watching The Early Edition in a big purple cow in Edinburgh when Brendon wandered on to the stage - it was the day after he'd won the big award and he was deliriously happy. I didn't know him, sort of knew of him (I think!) but was so happy because his mood was just infectious. He hadn't been to bed and was on the phone to his mum. It was honestly so lovely.

Then we saw the show that followed his winning show the year after. It was called Fuck You I'm Brendon Fucking Burns Part VI (Again) and the most memorable line was "to death?!" I liked Brendon but Richard absolutely loved him - I think it was his favourite Fringe 2008 show!!

On New Year's Eve 2008 Richard and I watched Tim Minchin's So Fucking Rock and the show that won Burns the award, So THIS is offensive now? It was a night of wonderfully funny Australians and was one of the best New Years I've ever ever had! STION was absolutely awe-inspiring in a way that is hard to describe without entirely spoiling the show - I'd never seen a comedy show with a twist like that; it wasn't just funny, it was really really smart. Absolutely brilliant!

Last year we saw Y'Know Love n God n Metaphysics n Shit which made me cry. It was clever, silly, touching, mad and had Dave Eastgate on the guitar. And Bright Eyes playing at the end of the show. But I won't say which song or why.

I'd say Brendon Burns would be in the top five of comedians I've met (in terms of being nice to meet) - he's such a lovely man! He's hot too! I'll always go and see him though he's probably not in my top ten. Love him, though!!

Ooh, lovely!

Charlie's Comedians - B - Bird, Andrew

Oops, another one that's not in alphabetical order. Oh, well! I'm trying to remember anything about Andrew Bird (not to be confused with the musician!) He was the support when I saw Rhod Gilbert last (at the Sunderland Empire, February 2010) and was pretty decent - nothing spectacular or anything! - and did some good local stuff about the North East and the venue (there's a huge gap between the stage and the front row which Michael McIntryre mentioned on his Roadshow which I think does make stand up interaction hard!). I think most of the stuff he did was about his wife being from...I can't remember where! But something about a language mix up!

Anyway, I would neither go out of my way to see him or avoid him!

And here he is!

The British Comedy Awards 2011

Ah, Channel Four. Better all ready!!

I love watching award shows. Last week I watched the Golden Globe highlights (yay Jim Parsons, double yay Annette Bening!). The best ones are The Baftas and The Oscars, I think. But the GGs were great for honouring TV as well as films. Hugh Laurie, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore etc in the same room! Amazing stuff.

Saturday night was different though - whereas normally I watch award ceremonies on my own and cry throughout I watched The BCAs with Richard. We had M&Ms and popcorn and it was a very special night. Films and TV are wonderful and important, of course. But comedy people are our people - people who don't seem inaccesible (not least as I've seen many of them in real life and bumped into two of the winners for little chats - Peter Capaldi and Charlie Brooker).

Jonathan Ross was a good host, as usual. I'd love to see Stewart Lee host. But that would never happen. Nevermind, JR was fine! Alex Horne or someone could be a good host - but I suppose JR is used to live TV.

I wasn't sure about some of the people presenting the awards, I have to say! People from The Only Was Is Essex?! Why? I'd have preferred a few more comedians actually presenting!

The awards:

Michael McIntyre won Best TV Male Comic - I would've loved David Mitchell to win but expected McIntyre would. And he's funny and of the three nominated (Harry Hill, DM, MM) he's the only one who does actual stand up on TV! But David Mitchell is obviously one of the best men alive!

And he did win something - sort of! - when Would I Lie To You won for Best Panel Show (beating Have I Got News For You and Shooting Stars). I really enjoy WILTY especially with Rob Brydon. HIGNFY is always good though Ian Hislop annoyed more quite a bit last year. And I partly blame him for the Tories being in power. Hm, anyway. SS I haven't watched since it returned; I loved it as a child but am not really bothered now. Anyway, yay for Lee Mack, David Mitchell and Rob Brydon (all people I've seen in the flesh!)

Miranda Hart did extremely well, winning three out of the four awards she was nominated for!! I'm not a fan of Miranda but I do love Miranda! She seems lovely. The Comedy King or Queen award was a shock - as the public could vote I expected McIntyre to win (though wanted David Mitchell to). In the New British TV category I would've preferred Grandma's House to win. I loved that. I loved The Trip too! In Best Comedy Actress I liked all three - Miranda, Jo Brand and Katherine Parkinson.

Lovely Jo Brand did win Best Female TV Comic though I really wanted Sarah Millican to win. I feel like I know her and she's from where I'm from and she's geniunely brilliant! Another year, I'm sure! Shappi Khorsandi's someone I like but I don't think she's amazing. Anyway, I couldn't possibly begrudge Jo winning!

I can begrudge Harry Hill winning Best Entertainment Personality - I did love him until his "I Want A Baby" disgrace. That was wrong and offensive on many many levels. The fact that he collected the award as Wagbo didn't help. My beloved Charlie Brooker should've won. Ant and Dec should not have won (I don't care that they're from where I'm from, they are on far too much shit!)

Charlie Brooker did collect an award when Newswipe won for Best Comedy Entertainment Programme - beating Harry Hill's TV Burp and The Graham Norton Show. I do like Graham Norton but Charlie Brooker is amazing. So YAY!! It was great when the people we wanted to win won!!

So it was great too when Peter Capaldi won!! Lush!!!! He got Best Comedy Actor beating James Buckley (I don't watch The Inbetweeners), Rob Brydon and Tom Hollander. I was really happy for him.

Kayvan Novak won Best British Comedy Performance in a Film (I haven't seen Four Lions!! Keep meaning too!); I would've gone for Aaron Johnson but that's just because I've seen (and love) Kick Ass. The other nominee was Nigel Lindsay.

The Inbetweeners won Best Sitcom beating the wonderful The Thick of It and Miranda. I've never seen more than the odd bit of The Inbetweeners and am not impressed by what I've seen (though Greg Davies is brilliant!). Oh well. What happened to Peep Show? It's been amazing! No nomination even.

The kids' TV show Horrible Histories won Best Sketch Show which was a surprise!! A good one though - Harry and Paul and The Armstrong and Miller Show can try harder next year. Why wasn't That Mitchell and Webb Look nominated though?!

John Bishop - Best Male Comedy Breakthrough Artist - wasn't bothered who won this! Jack Whitehall didn't (hurrah) nor did Kayvan Novak.

Samantha Spiro - Best Female Comedy Breakthrough Artist - I love G'sH though would rather Isy Suttie or Sarah Millican had won! Nice mention of Rebecca Front though. Lovely.

Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong - The Writer's Guild of Great Britain

Well, this was lovely. Well done them! I love them and their creations! Hurrah!!

Lifetime Achievement Award - Roy Clarke

Well, I used to watch and enjoy Keeping Up Appearances in my younger days. Last of The Summer Wine certainly isn't my sort of thing but it definitely lasted a long time! His speech was truly lovely - not at all funny, just very sincerely charming. Good for him!

Russell Brand got Outstanding Contribution To Comedy - I know some people have said he's too young but I think he's great! Other people may have made a bigger contribution to comedy - people who are doing the stand up circuit and Edinburgh! But Russell's done some very good films and I think he's very talented and intelligent too. He's not my favourite comedian, wouldn't even make the top ten, but you know, he's great! I think whoever wins an award like this you can be snarky. So I won't be. Though I can completely understand why he fuck's people off! (I just want to give hin a hug though.)

And then we watched the extra stuff with Lauren Laverne and Rick Edwards - most enjoyable! I only wish I'd had a ticket. Maybe next year...

Both Sides Now

I love libraries. So fucking much! That's where the books are (there's a lot more to them than that, of course, but even if libraries only meant books they'd still mean everything to me) and the books are where the words are! All the stories, all the facts, all the life-changing information that we take for granted: physics, biology, philosophy, history. There are the dusty old books in the basement, religious texts from all the faiths (because libraries are about choice and are so much less judgemental than I am) and the brand new books, fresh in their protective jackets, still with that lovely smell - ready to be read.

I've been going to the library longer than I remember. I grew up with Babysitters' Club books and Sweet Valley High and (Sweet Valley Twins). I read loads of Point Horror and Point Romance. I discovered Jane Austen. I read Junk by Melvin Burgess (an absolutely amazing book about heroin addiction). In the summer I'd sit in the garden and read about four books a day. I was a happy little freak.

My University Library was a lovely place that smelled of dust and had all sorts of things inside - The Child That Books Built by Francis Spufford, A Series of Unfortunate Events and the play(s) Angels in America by Tony Kushner that I devoured one train journey home after seeing the HBO version on Channel 4 over two nights of televisual perfection.

And now, I'm back at the beginning - I work in the library that nourished me as a child. The place that provided the books that provided my escape. When I was very young I learned how to disappear entirely into fiction as a way to block to football out. It is perhaps the only reason I am grateful for the existance of football - it gave me the ability to read in any conditions. No matter how much noise or how many people are talking around me I can still be completely absorbed by a book.

And now that I'm in one for more hours a day than I see my friends or family do I still love libraries? God, yes. Each day I browse the shelves, planning my reading, dreaming of days off filled with books. Me and my friends at work are constantly pulling books off shelves and putting them to one side, we reserve the books we're dying to read and keep up to date with what's going on in fiction. And that's awesome.

However, there are those who don't quite appreciate the library - the customers. Most of the customers we have are lovely, from the little old ladies who read twelve Mills and Boon romances a week to the little kids working their way through the Beast Quest series, the chatty little girl who goes on the computer and tells me what she's been up to, the babies beginning to choose books on their own, learning to read with Charlie and Lola, the students with deadlines desperate for specific texts. Helping all of these people is fulfilling and meaningful. I know that libraries have a direct impact on these lives.

Unfortunately, there is an inverse correlation between niceness of customer and time spent in the library. That is to say for every delightful, insightful reader who pops in for an hour or so every few weeks there is the person who turns up at 9am each day and is there until closing (as late as 7pm) - that's ten hours a day spent on facebook, playing solitaire and being rude to us.

There are the customers who smell dreadful, the ones without any manners who bark 'computer' at you, the ones who ask impossible questions, complain about all manner of things, spit, drool, swear. I once had to tell someone to remove his hand from inside his sweatpants. Suffice is to say we get through a lot of hand sanitiser! It is not always a great job and I come into contact with many people I wish I didn't ever have to see in my life. Sometimes it makes me sad that I see these appaling people more than I could ever hope to see my boyfriend.

However, all of these people need libraries. And I will fight for all of these people - not just the sweet old lady I see every day for a chat who is like everyone's Gran, not just the brilliant old man I've been teaching to use the computer (a true gentleman of the old school who shakes my hand and behaves the way people did in the past), not just the toddlers I sing nursery rhymes with or their harrassed mothers, not just the school children who come to visit the library (ensuring that even if their parents don't bring them they still get to experience the wonder of the place), or the polite (and rather good looking) customers from Eastern Europe who use the Internet to stay in touch with family and friends. All of these people need the library, it's true, but maybe the people that need it even more are the people I don't like - people that for whatever reason there isn't really a place for in the world. I think that a lot of the people who are in lots (like the old men who read the papers) are there to stay warm, to save money on heating bills, to socialise, to get out of the house. They're there because for them there is nowhere else to go and nothing else to do.

There's more to say about my library, of course. There's the Customer Service Centre stuff (a new element of libraries and one we'll probably see more and more), there's our new location in the same building as the local Health Centre so we have to deal with all manner of questions and even people trying to hand in bodily fluids!

But for now, I hope it's enough just to say: You can read books for free. Almost any book you can imagine. We'll track it down for you. You can take up to twelve books - entirely free!! David Mitchell was talking about being proud of living in a country where you were given a grant to go to University. Those days are, very sadly, over (and I'm reminded of that with every student loan letter) but we still have the NHS and we still have libraries. Places where things shouldn't be commodified and can't be.

Libraries will never make a profit but they do make people happy, they enrich our lives and I don't want to live in a world where books and libraries are not seen as priceless.

And as the brilliant Doctor says:

"Books! People never really stop loving books. 51st century. By now you've got holovids, direct to brain downloads, fiction mist, but you need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath."

Why I Want To Go To Bristol

I've never been to Bristol but here the reasons I want to go are:
1) Being Human
2) Skins

And they're both coming back on TV this week! Hurrah!

Being Human won't actually be in Bristol anymore though. The third series will be in Wales. In fact it'll be in Barry! (From Gavin and Stacey). Yes, it seems I really do see the world in terms of TV.

So, BH is back tonight! And I'm pretty excited; it's one of the best British things on TV (unfortunately it lacks as much competition as I'd like) combining proper dark storylines with believable characters who (despite not being human) feel human. And are funny - like a normal group of mates (except their issues are slightly different) getting through life. And the cast are rather hot!

On the other hand, Skins while being entirely non-supernatural is, to me, at least, pretty unrealistic! Because when I was 17 I wasn't having any sex or drugs (though there was plenty of drama). We did drink but at house parties and it all seemed so much safer. But some people say that for them Skins is truly what their teenage years were like (really?). It's the beginning of a new generation for the show (its third incarnation of sixth formers) and I'm excited to see what these new characters bring (more baggage, pain, sex and death, I imagine.)

I don't think that every episode of the show is perfect - far from it - but I do think that from time to time it is magnificent TV. And it's also the only attempt made at a decent teen show in Britain. We're still waiting for our Dawson's Creek but until then we have this and I'm so glad we do.

(And Josie Long and Robin Ince contribute to the writing plus there are comedian cameos throughout! Yay!)

Charlie's Comedians - B - Bishop, John

Hmm, I think that if I'd been writing this entry when I'd seen John do about ten/fifteen minutes at the 2009 Award Show (nominees: the amazing Jon Richardson, Idiots of Ants, Russell Kane and Bishop; winner: bloody lovely Tim Key) I'd have been very positive. I like John's comedy - he's good. But now he's everywhere! And he's not good enough to be everywhere! I think he said something on some panel show or other that sounded really gross/sexist about someone being 'fingered'. I can't remember remember what the details were but something definitely annoyed me at some point.

I don't think I'd go out of my way to see him now. Perversely, I might have done if he had just a tiny bit less publicity.

I did love him in Skins though; indeed all of the Fitch family were marvellous. And just in case you've never seen him on one of the millions of programmes he's on (including his own! His own! He's not really good enough for that, is he?) he looks like this:

I'm worried I may have been too mean. However, I'm also worried that I'm too nice about the majority of these comedians. Then again, I'm only writing about people I've seen live and I don't go and see people I don't like - so I won't be writing about Frankie Boyle (not here, not now - I do hate him though!).

Edinburgh 2008 - Day Two

Monday 4th August 2008 (Day Two)

The second day of our second Fringe (our first proper decent-lengh one!) was sunny. Retrospectively, I appreciate this hugely. I'd packed very ambitiously (stupidly) for this Fringe - I'd brought little dresses and sandals: ridiculous!! All you need for a Fringe is: jeans (a couple of pairs in case of extreme rain!), t-shirts (band t-shirts are good, prettier t-shirts and tops are nice too; if you want to dress up especially for a certain comedian this is understandable!) And trainers!!! Or similar! And under no circumstances forget wellies!!! That is all you need. Oh, and cardigans etc for layers in case it's chilly. But it's boiling in loads of venues so you'll have to take them off!

So, it was warm, sunny and Richard and I were up early (in time for breakfast) and Nat wasn't (as is her usual way!). We had a lovely wander around, had time to take in some street performances (which is always lovely; we usually have very little time though. Ideally you should leave some hours free to wander and take all of this amazing stuff in.)

Then our first show was Rich Hall: Fifty Cent Words - Rich Hall was reading from his then-forthcoming book Magnificent Bastards - it was really great, a very cosy, intimate gig - just Rich and one of those old-fashioned leather chairs. Afterwards Richard told him that one of his jokes was his favourite ever joke. I said 'you're great, thanks' or something; he seemed like a really nice guy but I think he was hurrying to get somewhere (people usually are during the Fringe!).

In the afternoon (Nat was awake by this time!) we saw Teechers, a play by John Godber. It's a really good play - about these schoolkids in Liverpool who have been inspired by their drama teacher; they put on an end of year performance which is based on the reality of their last year of school. It's fun, funny and clever.

After tea we saw Mark Watson: All The Thoughts I've Had Since I Was Born - this was the year Mark Watson had really become popular - he was in the Pleasance Grand which is one of the really big venues! However, he hadn't let it go to his head or anything (and still hasn't, he's geniunely lovely) and spent ten minutes before the show wandering round the audience having little chats. His show was really good - it was the first time I'd seen him.

After that we went to a Rocky Horror Night at Frankenstein's Pub - it wasn't all I hoped; not many people had dressed up. The staff there were being the cast and they looked and sounded great buy in between the songs they played fairly bad/uninteresting dance music; we'd got dressed up and were expecting that everyone else would have but I think a lot of people were just out for a drink. If anyone was staging The Rocky Horror Show or doing something amazing with The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Fringe, I'd jump at the chance to go, however, I wouldn't bother with a night like this again: there are far better things to do instead.

The next day of our trip was (probably!) the best Fringe day ever!!

Charlie's Comedians - B - Basden, Tom

Tom Basden is a lovely guy - he's part of the Mark Watson/Tim Key/Alex Horne group! (Though not sure that he's ever done anything with Alex Horne, bet they're friends though!). He was the resident musican on the second series of Mark Watson's radio show (Tim Minchin was on the first series!) - Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better.

His stand up is good; it involves some songs (on his guitar), powerpoint, inventions and other unconnected bits of strangeness - he's very endearing though. I especially remember a bit about Susan Kennedy from Neighbours being gay (which is true) and her going out with the actress who plays Libby (her onscreen daughter) - I don't know if this is true!! But it was all very funny. Also Richard always talks about a bit where he was talking about why it would be bad to be raped by Sting. (This sounds really edgy written down; he's actually incredibly sweet and unassuming.)

I've only seen him once (2009 Fringe) doing Now That's What I Call Music-Based Comedy.

But, fond as I am of his stand up I really love his play Party (which I also saw in 2009); it's amazing. They also did it for the radio (Tim Key, Tom Basden, Katy Wix and Anna Crilly). It was amazing. It was really simplistic - not much of a set, just one location. It was about some people setting up their own political party. Tim Key was lovely as ever in it!

Also he's a quarter of Cowards which I love!

This is a picture of Tom Basden:

And here is how he fits into my top five of musical comedians:

1. Tim Minchin
2. James Sherwood
3. Bill Bailey
4. Tom Basden
5. David O'Doherty

Charlie's Comedians - B - Bailey, Bill

Well, Bill Bailey - he's probably one of the best known on my list really! I didn't always like him. In fact at some point I really didn't. What a loser. (I was!) Anyway, at some point I saw the light and now I really really appreciate him. I haven't seen him live for quite a while (I've only seen him once) and that was in an arena ("nothing ruins comedy like arenas" sang Mr.Tim Minchin last time I was in the arena!). I think Bill's always going to be in an arena and he'll always get away with it as he does put so much into his shows and makes them big. (Normal stand up in arenas still just feels odd to me and quite soulless.)

I still need to watch his Orchestra DVD! I wanted to see that show very much indeed but it was £50 (which is loads! Having said that I have just paid a silly amount of money to see Lady Gaga (but that's in LA and counts as a holiday extravagance in advance!).

Bill's also on a lot of good TV shows - Black Books, Spaced and of course Never Mind The Buzzcocks. His son is called Dax!!

He's one of the (few!) comedians I don't fancy. And here he is:

I feel like at some point I should write in detail about musical comedy; I may wait until my next entry as he too is a musical comedian. And playwright. Ooooh!

Charlie's Comedians - A - Acaster, James

I missed out James Acaster! This is because I saw him after I made the original list. I've only seen him do about twenty minutes but he was so brilliant and different. He had a bit about his phone and having to use a biro to push the buttons (so though it's falling to bits it looks like he has a BlackBerry!). And he had some good banter with Richard and he reacted really well to the ridiculous people behind us who were flicking through their Fringe programme looking for another show.

He's definitely one to look out for and it'll be interesting to see what he does with a full hour when he does that!

And he looks like this:

And now I'm up to the Bs!!!

TV 2011

Happy New Year! And let's hope it's a good year for TV. January was traditionally the time when the American seasons would start on British screens - having started in September in America - meaning that we'd have twenty two (or four or six or however many!) weeks of uninterrupted brilliance; the American finale would generally air in America less than a week before we got to have it. It was a good system but fear of downloading has made our channels show many a programme much nearer its transmission date which means that we suffer the hiatuses and breaks of America.

Which means that we're all ready half way through season 7 of Desperate Housewives, have seen a similar chuck of season 7 of House, are poised ready for more The Middle and Modern Family (Sky One are huge fans of copying the American way of doing things and will just show repeats if there's not a new episode! Annoying!), I feel like I've barely had a chance to get into this season (four) of Chuck before the break.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 began last week (a bit early but hopefully it'll have no missed weeks!). But January, though not the month it once was for TV, still has a lot of excitment:

Glee (Season 2) begins on Monday 10th January! I love Glee and am eager for more. I'm especially excited about the Rocky Horror episode they did for Halloween.

True Blood (Season 3) starts on Friday 14th January. I'm really excited about this too. I've heard some brilliant things from my LA best friend. And FX needs something to fill its Friday night slot now that Walking Dead has finished. Ooh, I hope it comes back before long. It's absolutely amazing.

And finally Grey's Anatomy Season 7 begins this Wednesday! I can't wait! Their finale was one of the best I'd ever seen: painful, heartbreaking and terrifying to watch. A crazed gunman killed a fair amount of the characters; many more were shot. It was amazing. So I'm really looking forward to another wonderful season of intense drama.

Happy watching!