Breaking Up With The Good Wife

It's not you, it's me. I just don't have enough time to give you what you need (me watching you). I do want to see other people, yes. I think I'm going to miss you. But, at least for now, it's over.

I have no time! And loads of TV to watch. Grey's Anatomy is amazing (my current favourite), House is good too. I've got into Boardwalk Empire, I love The Big C. How I Met Your Mother and The Office are two of the best sitcoms of our times. 30 Rock and The Big Bang Theory are great! Modern Family and The Middle are fun and make me cry (what doesn't?). Being Human is the best British drama until Doctor Who or Sherlock return. Charlie Brooker's How TV Ruined Your Life is just perfect. 10 O'Clock Live isn't perfect but I like it - CB and DM in one progamme (dreamy). True Blood is exciting, Glee is wonderful. Skins is mad but when it's good, it's very very good! And then there's thirtysomething which I missed first time around due to my being three and having more in common with little Janie than the sexy, sexy Hope and her friends. Unfortunately, Sky Atlantic are airing this daily. Too many shows! Big Love has returned. I watche the first season on Channel 5 about five years ago; they didn't buy the rest (how silly). I'm eager for more.

So I have to give up something. Brothers and Sisters is a likely candidate. It is a show that is populated by a wonderful cast given awful lines to say. Calista Flockhart, Rachel Griffiths and Sally Field deserve better. The scary Uncle Saul (who terrifies me as he reminds me too much of Joel Grey as Doc in Buffy) is the attractive star of thirtysomething which makes me confused. Rob Lowe was brilliant but is now gone. B&S is soapy and silly in the extreme. I may drop it but I haven't yet. I know it's an insult to all that has gone before but it's easy and sometimes has moments where brilliance is hinted at. (I miss Six Feet Under and Brenda so much!)

So The Good Wife will be the first to be dropped. I haven't watched it very long and it's not my sort of thing genre-wise. Some of the legal stuff is depressing (not the good cathartic kind of depressing) and I'm not bothered about the main character. Poor Julianna Margulies (I gave up on ER too, sorry). I won't miss her or the children. But I will miss Christine Baranski who I grew up watching in Cybill but fell for entirely as Leonard's mother in BBT. Then there is Chris Noth (the reason I started watching the show - lovely Big). Josh Charles (from Sports Night and In Treatment), Matt Czuchry (who amused Jam in that episode of Young Americans and who annoyed everyone other than Jam, for some reason, in Gilmore Girls), Mary Beth Peil (Grams from Dawson's Creek) and the brilliant, inspiring, talented Alan Cumming (who I adore). I will miss them all. But what is clear is that you can't take people I love from things that have changed my life and lump them together and have an instant hit. But those elements have kept me hanging on for so long, hoping something would change, hoping for that perfect TV moment where you say the rare words: "This could be it. This could be the new Buffy."

Anyone else, I'm sure could come back to this show for meaningless hook-ups. But for me, once it's over I won't watch it for a second. All or nothing. It's the only way I know.

Not good enough

Edinburgh 2008 - Day Three

Today seems like the perfect day to escape into the past and remember the day I will always regard the best ever Edinburgh Fringe day!

Tuesday 5th August 2008

It began, as so many good things do with Miles Jupp.

Lovely, isn't he?

First we saw The Guardian Podcast (which Miles Jupp hosted). As I've previously mentioned these podcasts were amazing and I don't know why the Guardian stopped doing them. On this particular day the guests were:

Sarah Millican - I saw Sarah Millican in the toilets of the Gilded Balloon and forgot I didn't know her and said 'hi'. Because to me she just feels like someone from home that I saw in a pub ages ago with my parents and their friends (and R). She's huge now, of course and that's amazing, but then she was pretty unknown. Three weeks later she would be leaving Edinburgh with the Best Newcomer Award. I'm pretty sure that podcast was the first ever 'Millican's Minute' segment which they did again in 2009; Miles and Sarah's relationship became really funny - both of them amping up the differences between them - Millican emphasising her North Eastern roots (she's from South Shields which is a nice beach nearish where I live), Juppy doing his usual priveleged stuff.

Jason Byrne - I enjoyed listening to Jason chat. This was the first time I'd ever seen/heard him do anything; I liked him. More on him a bit later!!

Tina C - In 2008 Tina (aka Christopher Green) was running for the Whitehouse. I didn't see her show but I know it culminated in a huge rally. We kept seeing people in her show - it looked fabulous and I sort of wish we'd gone. She was great!!

Wilson Dixon - a country singer/comedian we kept seeing around that year. Haven't seen him since!

Paul MacInnes - a Guardian journalist who I remember very little about to be honest! I may have to listen again (always trying to hear me or Richard laughing in the audience).

I hadn't previously known who Miles Jupp was but he stole the show, my heart, etc! He was smart, charming, funny, sexy and amazing. I can't remember when exactly it transpired that we were going to see him again that day (in the play we'd booked to see only knowing that Stewart Lee had written it!) but when I did realise that it seemed like fate (that I don't belive in!). Maybe everything in Edinburgh feels fated as all things and people are linked - everyone knows each other, comedians are everywhere. It's bliss!

After that we met up with Nat (who'd been at a drama workshop) and then split up again (I think this is what happened!); she went to see The Butler Did It, The Musical! while Richard and I went to The Stand to see Andy Zaltzman Boldly Unbuttons The Cloak Of Civilisation, But Is Perplexed And Perturbed By What He Finds Lurking Beneath. Lovely Zaltz is definitely one of Richard's comedians. I liked this show but I didn't love it. It reminded me of Blackadder - that is to say it had a lot of really clever wordplay etc but wasn't quite my sort of thing. (Having said that I do enjoy Blackadder!) It had an interval where we had to do a quiz (a Zaltz trademark). The best thing about this show was that Richard finally got to see a full AZ stand up set!
Then we saw James Sherwood (who we'd loved at Political Animal) doing Songs of Music which I loved! There was a lot of stuff about grammar (which I love!) - David Cameron saying attorney generals rather than attorneys general. There was some stuff about cricket too! And his songs are really great. I love a piano!

Next was The Little Shop of Horrors - a really amazing musical I'd never seen before (Nat had seen it ages ago). It was a really great production. We were in the front row and it was staged in the round which meant they were everywhere, almost on our feet. Amazing songs, great cast, brilliant play! And the night wasn't over. The best was yet to come.

If you love Miles Jupp and love codpieces and you love dashing heroic Elizabethan explorers (and I do!) this show is for you! And that's not even mentioning the amazingly wonderful Simon Munnery. Yes, this was the unforgettable Elizabeth and Raleigh: Late But Live



"I am the Queen of England. And you are not."

This was a simply marvellous show (by Stewart Lee) that felt like a pantomime without all the stuff I dislike about pantomimes; it included potato throwing, ships on heads (signifying the Armada etc) and Simon Munnery - resplendant in regal drag, stomping over our seats as we stood up (because the Queen of England doesn't turn) - was amazing (this was the first of many, many times I saw him). Miles Jupp, I'd discovered, was a great host, here I found he was a brilliant actor (this role was perfect for him) - sexy, charming, bearded, he was Raleigh - later I'd find out his stand up is fantastic too. What a man!!

We had about twenty five minutes to get from the Cow Barn to the Stand. We decided to take a rickshaw. It was pretty fun! Nat got scared. We tried to take photos to capture the experience but only captured our driver's arse really. He was a nice guy but not a man who knew the streets of Edinburgh. Luckily we were able to direct him to York Place and eventually we got there to get seats right at the front (I think they were the last ones left!!) for The Honourable Men of Art.

The HMoA consisted of:

Daniel Kitson - this was my first ever DK experience and it was wonderful. I'd heard many good things about him but seeing him at last was the perfect end to an incredible day (and remains one of the best and most Fringe-y experiences yet). Because Daniel wasn't doing a solo show that year (he was doing 66A Church Road) this was just him larking about really. I knew I was going to like him when he came out with a cup of tea. He did a thing where he mocked as many audience members as possible in a minute. We played charades. Even when he was off-stage he was rarely off-mic and would interject from wherever he was standing. The rest of the HMoA had to finish off his sentences if he stuttered so they'd make him say racist things. What a man! Kitson remains one of my favourite stand ups and one of my favourite people - I love him!
Andy Zaltzman - our third Zaltz of the trip. He is mint. And him and Kitson together are amazingly funny.

Alun Cochrane - I have mixed feelings about Alun Cochrane. I didn't love him on this particular night but I have been impressed by him on other nights. So I don't know! I haven't seen a full solo show as yet.

David O'Doherty - little did we know it then but this was to be the D'OD's year (he won the big award). I enjoyed his stuff (songs on a little piano) but it was Kitson and Zaltzman who made it a night to remember.

And then some sleep.

Charlie's Comedians - B - Byrne, Ed

I've never seen Ed Byrne do a full live show. So everything I say about him could be totally wrong really; I truly think the only way to really judge someone is to see their proper show (as in a whole hour) in real life. However, obviously you can get a vague idea from other things.

I've only seen Ed Byrne once in fact - that seems surprising; I saw him hosting an Amnesty International Stand Up For Freedom gig in 2009. It was at midnight at the end of the rainiest, most horrible day in Edinburgh ever (still brilliant though, obviously!). And Ed was wonderful - dispelling our low moods and really making the night special.

Of course I've seen the old clips of him doing the Alanis Morrisette stuff that he became really well known for (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT1TVSTkAXg). I watched a recent show of his Different Class and wasn't amazed.

However, I still really like him - he used to live with Ross Noble and seems like a really nice person. He's not exactly my sort of thing but I always enjoy him hosting things and he's great on Robin Ince and Josie Long's Utter Shambles (some of my favourite podcasts). I also have a lot of respect for him as he does Robin Ince's Nine Lessons and Carols For Godless People - there's nothing as sexy as a clever, rational man. Having said that I think Ed Byrne is one of those comedians I don't fancy. Though he's lovely! I'm not sure about the name of his new show, Crowd Pleaser, I suppose he'll be doing something with the title though so I wouldn't like to judge too soon!

There he is. And here's the wonderful Stewart Lee on the Big Brother Scandal of 2007 (Ed Byrne would probably rather forget that he was the voice of the Carphone Warehouse adverts): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IE0kSZmW6g 



Charlie's Comedians - B - Burns, Brendon Burns

Fuck you, I'm Brendon fucking Burns! I almost feel like I should write this entry in capitals. But no, there is a softer, sweeter side to Brendon. And he's one of the nicest comedians I've ever actually met.

But to begin at the beginning - I first saw Brendon Burns in 2007 - not as part of a show, really. I was watching The Early Edition in a big purple cow in Edinburgh when Brendon wandered on to the stage - it was the day after he'd won the big award and he was deliriously happy. I didn't know him, sort of knew of him (I think!) but was so happy because his mood was just infectious. He hadn't been to bed and was on the phone to his mum. It was honestly so lovely.

Then we saw the show that followed his winning show the year after. It was called Fuck You I'm Brendon Fucking Burns Part VI (Again) and the most memorable line was "to death?!" I liked Brendon but Richard absolutely loved him - I think it was his favourite Fringe 2008 show!!

On New Year's Eve 2008 Richard and I watched Tim Minchin's So Fucking Rock and the show that won Burns the award, So THIS is offensive now? It was a night of wonderfully funny Australians and was one of the best New Years I've ever ever had! STION was absolutely awe-inspiring in a way that is hard to describe without entirely spoiling the show - I'd never seen a comedy show with a twist like that; it wasn't just funny, it was really really smart. Absolutely brilliant!

Last year we saw Y'Know Love n God n Metaphysics n Shit which made me cry. It was clever, silly, touching, mad and had Dave Eastgate on the guitar. And Bright Eyes playing at the end of the show. But I won't say which song or why.

I'd say Brendon Burns would be in the top five of comedians I've met (in terms of being nice to meet) - he's such a lovely man! He's hot too! I'll always go and see him though he's probably not in my top ten. Love him, though!!

Ooh, lovely!

Charlie's Comedians - B - Bird, Andrew

Oops, another one that's not in alphabetical order. Oh, well! I'm trying to remember anything about Andrew Bird (not to be confused with the musician!) He was the support when I saw Rhod Gilbert last (at the Sunderland Empire, February 2010) and was pretty decent - nothing spectacular or anything! - and did some good local stuff about the North East and the venue (there's a huge gap between the stage and the front row which Michael McIntryre mentioned on his Roadshow which I think does make stand up interaction hard!). I think most of the stuff he did was about his wife being from...I can't remember where! But something about a language mix up!

Anyway, I would neither go out of my way to see him or avoid him!

And here he is!

The British Comedy Awards 2011

Ah, Channel Four. Better all ready!!

I love watching award shows. Last week I watched the Golden Globe highlights (yay Jim Parsons, double yay Annette Bening!). The best ones are The Baftas and The Oscars, I think. But the GGs were great for honouring TV as well as films. Hugh Laurie, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore etc in the same room! Amazing stuff.

Saturday night was different though - whereas normally I watch award ceremonies on my own and cry throughout I watched The BCAs with Richard. We had M&Ms and popcorn and it was a very special night. Films and TV are wonderful and important, of course. But comedy people are our people - people who don't seem inaccesible (not least as I've seen many of them in real life and bumped into two of the winners for little chats - Peter Capaldi and Charlie Brooker).

Jonathan Ross was a good host, as usual. I'd love to see Stewart Lee host. But that would never happen. Nevermind, JR was fine! Alex Horne or someone could be a good host - but I suppose JR is used to live TV.

I wasn't sure about some of the people presenting the awards, I have to say! People from The Only Was Is Essex?! Why? I'd have preferred a few more comedians actually presenting!

The awards:

Michael McIntyre won Best TV Male Comic - I would've loved David Mitchell to win but expected McIntyre would. And he's funny and of the three nominated (Harry Hill, DM, MM) he's the only one who does actual stand up on TV! But David Mitchell is obviously one of the best men alive!

And he did win something - sort of! - when Would I Lie To You won for Best Panel Show (beating Have I Got News For You and Shooting Stars). I really enjoy WILTY especially with Rob Brydon. HIGNFY is always good though Ian Hislop annoyed more quite a bit last year. And I partly blame him for the Tories being in power. Hm, anyway. SS I haven't watched since it returned; I loved it as a child but am not really bothered now. Anyway, yay for Lee Mack, David Mitchell and Rob Brydon (all people I've seen in the flesh!)

Miranda Hart did extremely well, winning three out of the four awards she was nominated for!! I'm not a fan of Miranda but I do love Miranda! She seems lovely. The Comedy King or Queen award was a shock - as the public could vote I expected McIntyre to win (though wanted David Mitchell to). In the New British TV category I would've preferred Grandma's House to win. I loved that. I loved The Trip too! In Best Comedy Actress I liked all three - Miranda, Jo Brand and Katherine Parkinson.

Lovely Jo Brand did win Best Female TV Comic though I really wanted Sarah Millican to win. I feel like I know her and she's from where I'm from and she's geniunely brilliant! Another year, I'm sure! Shappi Khorsandi's someone I like but I don't think she's amazing. Anyway, I couldn't possibly begrudge Jo winning!

I can begrudge Harry Hill winning Best Entertainment Personality - I did love him until his "I Want A Baby" disgrace. That was wrong and offensive on many many levels. The fact that he collected the award as Wagbo didn't help. My beloved Charlie Brooker should've won. Ant and Dec should not have won (I don't care that they're from where I'm from, they are on far too much shit!)

Charlie Brooker did collect an award when Newswipe won for Best Comedy Entertainment Programme - beating Harry Hill's TV Burp and The Graham Norton Show. I do like Graham Norton but Charlie Brooker is amazing. So YAY!! It was great when the people we wanted to win won!!

So it was great too when Peter Capaldi won!! Lush!!!! He got Best Comedy Actor beating James Buckley (I don't watch The Inbetweeners), Rob Brydon and Tom Hollander. I was really happy for him.

Kayvan Novak won Best British Comedy Performance in a Film (I haven't seen Four Lions!! Keep meaning too!); I would've gone for Aaron Johnson but that's just because I've seen (and love) Kick Ass. The other nominee was Nigel Lindsay.

The Inbetweeners won Best Sitcom beating the wonderful The Thick of It and Miranda. I've never seen more than the odd bit of The Inbetweeners and am not impressed by what I've seen (though Greg Davies is brilliant!). Oh well. What happened to Peep Show? It's been amazing! No nomination even.

The kids' TV show Horrible Histories won Best Sketch Show which was a surprise!! A good one though - Harry and Paul and The Armstrong and Miller Show can try harder next year. Why wasn't That Mitchell and Webb Look nominated though?!

John Bishop - Best Male Comedy Breakthrough Artist - wasn't bothered who won this! Jack Whitehall didn't (hurrah) nor did Kayvan Novak.

Samantha Spiro - Best Female Comedy Breakthrough Artist - I love G'sH though would rather Isy Suttie or Sarah Millican had won! Nice mention of Rebecca Front though. Lovely.

Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong - The Writer's Guild of Great Britain

Well, this was lovely. Well done them! I love them and their creations! Hurrah!!

Lifetime Achievement Award - Roy Clarke

Well, I used to watch and enjoy Keeping Up Appearances in my younger days. Last of The Summer Wine certainly isn't my sort of thing but it definitely lasted a long time! His speech was truly lovely - not at all funny, just very sincerely charming. Good for him!

Russell Brand got Outstanding Contribution To Comedy - I know some people have said he's too young but I think he's great! Other people may have made a bigger contribution to comedy - people who are doing the stand up circuit and Edinburgh! But Russell's done some very good films and I think he's very talented and intelligent too. He's not my favourite comedian, wouldn't even make the top ten, but you know, he's great! I think whoever wins an award like this you can be snarky. So I won't be. Though I can completely understand why he fuck's people off! (I just want to give hin a hug though.)

And then we watched the extra stuff with Lauren Laverne and Rick Edwards - most enjoyable! I only wish I'd had a ticket. Maybe next year...

Both Sides Now

I love libraries. So fucking much! That's where the books are (there's a lot more to them than that, of course, but even if libraries only meant books they'd still mean everything to me) and the books are where the words are! All the stories, all the facts, all the life-changing information that we take for granted: physics, biology, philosophy, history. There are the dusty old books in the basement, religious texts from all the faiths (because libraries are about choice and are so much less judgemental than I am) and the brand new books, fresh in their protective jackets, still with that lovely smell - ready to be read.

I've been going to the library longer than I remember. I grew up with Babysitters' Club books and Sweet Valley High and (Sweet Valley Twins). I read loads of Point Horror and Point Romance. I discovered Jane Austen. I read Junk by Melvin Burgess (an absolutely amazing book about heroin addiction). In the summer I'd sit in the garden and read about four books a day. I was a happy little freak.

My University Library was a lovely place that smelled of dust and had all sorts of things inside - The Child That Books Built by Francis Spufford, A Series of Unfortunate Events and the play(s) Angels in America by Tony Kushner that I devoured one train journey home after seeing the HBO version on Channel 4 over two nights of televisual perfection.

And now, I'm back at the beginning - I work in the library that nourished me as a child. The place that provided the books that provided my escape. When I was very young I learned how to disappear entirely into fiction as a way to block to football out. It is perhaps the only reason I am grateful for the existance of football - it gave me the ability to read in any conditions. No matter how much noise or how many people are talking around me I can still be completely absorbed by a book.

And now that I'm in one for more hours a day than I see my friends or family do I still love libraries? God, yes. Each day I browse the shelves, planning my reading, dreaming of days off filled with books. Me and my friends at work are constantly pulling books off shelves and putting them to one side, we reserve the books we're dying to read and keep up to date with what's going on in fiction. And that's awesome.

However, there are those who don't quite appreciate the library - the customers. Most of the customers we have are lovely, from the little old ladies who read twelve Mills and Boon romances a week to the little kids working their way through the Beast Quest series, the chatty little girl who goes on the computer and tells me what she's been up to, the babies beginning to choose books on their own, learning to read with Charlie and Lola, the students with deadlines desperate for specific texts. Helping all of these people is fulfilling and meaningful. I know that libraries have a direct impact on these lives.

Unfortunately, there is an inverse correlation between niceness of customer and time spent in the library. That is to say for every delightful, insightful reader who pops in for an hour or so every few weeks there is the person who turns up at 9am each day and is there until closing (as late as 7pm) - that's ten hours a day spent on facebook, playing solitaire and being rude to us.

There are the customers who smell dreadful, the ones without any manners who bark 'computer' at you, the ones who ask impossible questions, complain about all manner of things, spit, drool, swear. I once had to tell someone to remove his hand from inside his sweatpants. Suffice is to say we get through a lot of hand sanitiser! It is not always a great job and I come into contact with many people I wish I didn't ever have to see in my life. Sometimes it makes me sad that I see these appaling people more than I could ever hope to see my boyfriend.

However, all of these people need libraries. And I will fight for all of these people - not just the sweet old lady I see every day for a chat who is like everyone's Gran, not just the brilliant old man I've been teaching to use the computer (a true gentleman of the old school who shakes my hand and behaves the way people did in the past), not just the toddlers I sing nursery rhymes with or their harrassed mothers, not just the school children who come to visit the library (ensuring that even if their parents don't bring them they still get to experience the wonder of the place), or the polite (and rather good looking) customers from Eastern Europe who use the Internet to stay in touch with family and friends. All of these people need the library, it's true, but maybe the people that need it even more are the people I don't like - people that for whatever reason there isn't really a place for in the world. I think that a lot of the people who are in lots (like the old men who read the papers) are there to stay warm, to save money on heating bills, to socialise, to get out of the house. They're there because for them there is nowhere else to go and nothing else to do.

There's more to say about my library, of course. There's the Customer Service Centre stuff (a new element of libraries and one we'll probably see more and more), there's our new location in the same building as the local Health Centre so we have to deal with all manner of questions and even people trying to hand in bodily fluids!

But for now, I hope it's enough just to say: You can read books for free. Almost any book you can imagine. We'll track it down for you. You can take up to twelve books - entirely free!! David Mitchell was talking about being proud of living in a country where you were given a grant to go to University. Those days are, very sadly, over (and I'm reminded of that with every student loan letter) but we still have the NHS and we still have libraries. Places where things shouldn't be commodified and can't be.

Libraries will never make a profit but they do make people happy, they enrich our lives and I don't want to live in a world where books and libraries are not seen as priceless.

And as the brilliant Doctor says:

"Books! People never really stop loving books. 51st century. By now you've got holovids, direct to brain downloads, fiction mist, but you need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath."